2021, whew, it may have not started off well, in fact, I could use the grief I endured (enduring) as a means to define the remaining days of the year, but I cannot. I cannot stay in a place of darkness or hurt or even questioning why. The majority of the year is still ahead, and I look forward to what’s to come. I mean it definitely has to go up from here. I know some of you may be questioning what happened, so as a means of disclosure, my dad passed away on January 11th. We had the opportunity, as traumatic as it was, to say goodbye a week prior. I was able to see heaven open up and I knew he would go home soon. I saw him jumping and running, so full of life and joy, it was amazing…yet I was so very sad. God has truly held me through this time, and quiet was essential for my processing where I did not have to give to others during that time. Sometimes it can still be overwhelming, but I am doing quite well through this. I know other healing happened in this process that allowed for me to shift and bring forth understanding in some areas of my life.
Please do not feel sorry for me, but instead rejoice over how the Father gets the glory for the victory and homegoing of my dad! I am doing very well. I know also that many are praying for our strength and comfort, without a doubt it is working! Please continue to pray for the remainder of my family and their comfort, outside our home.
I have to remain in the positive, even if grief comes periodically, it does not define the future of this year or the positive perspective that I have been able to embrace. I may even annoy folks or even my family, but when you have dreams, permitted by the Father to see your dad, to grieve in those dreams, that it is like it has been longer than what is. I have been able to process and find the celebration now even more of where he is! I truly rejoice, even if a tear falls, but my heart is warm, held by the Father, and seeing that the promise is fulfilled!
I am only one person who has grieved and am grieving, we all have different ways, do not see me as an example in comparing as if to make you feel less, because that is untrue. I am strong…because of OUR FATHER! You are strong…because of OUR FATHER! Do not compare! Do not feel guilty for feeling better or worse! Do not allow the enemy in to mess with your process and choose to grieve, but not darkness. Hang in there! Process and don’t run from the grief, the emotion, the positive, but avoid the negative, avoid the depth of hurt or regret or guilt…nothing changes what is in the past, find peace through Christ to recognize that it is as it should be. Repent quickly if you have something to repent of. Cast your cares upon the Father…just keep casting…just keeping casting! Give your heaviness to the Father. Hang in there, brighter days will come, and are coming. Embrace them, don’t deny them, explaining them away as if you are guilty to feel relief, like you dishonor the lack of grief, the lack of sadness, the lack of emotion…who said there was a time limit? Who said or defined an exact way it is supposed to be? There is no exact way! But the process when you begin to have some relief, always choose to embrace it and know it is your loved one’s desire to see you happy again, relieved. Their memory will continue to live on! In fact, it allows you the opportunity to hold tight to the memories, the stories, the joyous moments in those such memories that allows you healing as if they’re present. Do not deny yourself these moments. Continue to honor your loved one and share those stories with others with such love as if you’re in that same moment.
Again, do not compare to one another, just know it is different for each of us and that it can take extra time, but process and know you are allowed peace, comfort, and those special memories without guilt.
1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for He careth for you”.