This should be a question that comes up, often, if you do not know your true identity. What do I mean by that, is that if you identify as a wife, mother, father, son, teacher, pastor, doctor, firefighter, counselor, cook, chauffeur, babysitter, teammate, jock, gardener, laborer, blue collar worker, computer programmer, arborist, pianist, musician, dancer, mechanic, artist, and so forth, then you must question your true identity. Let’s dig deeper.
Each of the list extends to belonging to a specific group, but if you look further, you are giving ‘you’ as a possession of someone or something, not people or a group, but someone or something. You have literally stated that I am a spouse of <insert your spouse’s name here> or I am a son <of, insert your parent’s names here>, I am a gardener <of, insert the person’s name who hired you>, and so on. We are giving ourselves up to adopt a role that we have deemed as identity which has given power to the one whom has determined our position, our duties, whether we will remain in this adopted identity role. Since we did not or do not know our true identity we searched for it through what others determined as what we are good at, or that our hearts have directed us toward. Don’t get me wrong, I am a wife, mother, and many of these roles. I too have degrees, an Associates of Arts, a Bachelor of General Studies with endorsements in Women’s Studies and Human Services, and a Masters in Business Administration, but these do not define me, that do not cause me to identify as anything to do with them, they do open doors, they were wonderful accomplishments, and they really show me how little I know in this life.
To know the difference in if we identify as a role is, based on if we are told we are not good at any of these, fired from it, and we realize this causes us to be lost in life with a sense of no direction. Of course, some of these roles like wife, son, mother, father, and so on are roles that are a bit different because there is a reality of the depth in which we love. However, I encourage you to press on through this. Even these roles will be a bit lighter in understanding when we know our true identity.
If we identity as a school teacher and we spend year after year prepping, teaching, developing, seeing little minds grow, and then we are asked to retire early, does this discount all we did previously? Does this mean we were a horrible teacher? Does this shake us to the point of losing ourselves? OR could it simply be looked at as an opportunity to shift into a new part of life? Could it mean that we were an amazing teacher, have put in the work and it is time for a little extra bonus? Of course, we should feel a loss in that this has been our life for years, and the little minds and lives we impacted as they too impacted us, that doesn’t mean we identify as a teacher, it means we loved, and loved what we did. But continuing forward is inevitable and seeing that retirement in the years of mobility for fun and travel or whatever is deemed desirable or doors that open for whatever God intended, those opportunities for a new point in life to embrace the shift and change will be worth it too.
We have to be aware that when we choose to identify as a role or think ourselves in a way that is not true to our true identity than we have a tendency to see and be the negative associated with the loss, or the struggles, or the fight in that others cannot see our true value…‘I mean I hold degrees that places me in a position of this or that nature, therefore, they must bow to me…’ good grief, humility is necessary. These negatives actually reflect the fruit of the flesh. Your true identity will produce fruits of the spirit. Proof?
Our true identity is that in which begins at the core of each of us. It literally is knowing who’s we really are. If we believe we are only a wife to our husband, then we must know that each of us have fallen short, and the hubs will fail at some point in his leading, just like we fail many times in being a wife. Thus, shifting to something that has been since our very beginning, not a role, but our true identity, is knowing that we are a CHILD OF THE HIGHEST GOD. If we truly know this, if we develop this, if we breathe this in and out, then we will recognize the reality of who’s we are. To know the Father, is to know our true identity, to make it clearer and more founded. If I know I am a child of the Highest God, then I know that my degrees, my titles, my roles are opportunities to further the Kingdom, to continue to produce fruits of the Spirit and to understand when one role ends, then another will open, that it was only for a season.
Change is necessary for growth, embrace it, seek for it, and understand that roles we do and move from are really difficult and should be because of how we pour ourselves into the opportunity. See, being a wife to my husband is a role, just like any of the roles listed above, that I seek the Father to fulfill, and when I fulfill its duties, out of love, lol, I am doing it for the Father, not other’s approval, but the Father’s only, knowing that my husband is below the Father. The Father knows the love I hold for my husband as well and that I first seek the Father, then the hubs. When we keep the Father as the sight in which our eyes are, then we continue to know our true identity and we fulfill the roles we are given at a level that exceeds other’s expectations. We keep our eyes on the Father and the world will recognize the difference in each of us, because of the confidence we have in knowing who we are and who’s we are.
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with [him], that we may be also glorified together” Romans 8:16-17.
“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told [you] in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another” Galatians 5:19-26.
“Servants, be obedient to them that are [your] masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether [he be] bond or free” Ephesians 6:5-8.
“Servants, obey in all things [your] masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do [it] heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons” Colossians 3:22-25.