As the Father allows I will be discussing little helps and tidbits for relationships, especially marriage. I am not sure how many posts will be targeting this, but let’s go with it. I am challenged to see so many women out there, not operating in Jezebel, but the men being more like Ahab. What I mean by this, is that men are stepping aside to let the women lead as if the head and the men are going with it because of the wrath of the women. Seriously though. Men rise up back to the head and you women, let them. Be quiet, seriously, bite your tongue. In fact, if this causes a stir and a fire to arise in your belly, then you know this is correct. Need confirmation? Pray to the Father and hear Him clearly. Further, study the Word.
Quit telling your husband what to do. Yes, I said it! If you are not in agreement, take it up with the Father first, not your husband. Seek counsel from the Father, not other’s opinions. Are you a bit angry now? Oh, then you have some more confirmation. This is not going to be a comfortable process if you’re already bubbling on the inside. However, the bubbling allows for you to see that it is definitely necessary. Do not stop here! You need to move forward with this.
Think about this, if the marriage is representative of Christ and the church, then is your marriage actually a good model of such? I believe all of us need to work more, but some of us are out of order for sure. In fact, we have to ask ourselves if we are growing in Christ or if we are truly incapable of surrendering control to Him which stifles our growth? Which this is reflective in the way we attempt or even have achieved to control our homes and husbands.
So, Ladies, how do we be helpmeets for our husbands in providing a safe place for them to rise and we too rise up? We get into our places and begin pushing them through prayer. No more tearing down. If you are joined together as one, then every time you attack him, you are literally inflicting that outlash at yourself. Kind of changes things huh? Bite your tongues. Do not speak. Be quiet. Just as speaking a word to someone God leads, so shall it be practiced in your home first. Don’t give any form of correction, let the Father give it in the Spirit with them. Oooowee that’s a tough one huh?! Oh, I’ve shut some of you off at this point…welp, if you’re tired of living with so much around you seeming to be a struggle, cycles, and a rut, then you’ll keep reading and really contemplate these instructions. Yep, it sucks when it feels freeing to tongue lash your spouse, that is flesh not spirit, when in reality it’s a detriment to growth and an open door for hell to break loose.
How many of you are still reading? Good for you! You got this and will succeed. So now, repent! Repent! Repent! That’s right, ask your husbands, and husbands ask your wives, for forgiveness. It doesn’t matter how wrong it feels…proof that it’s so very right and that your flesh is leading and not the spirit. It will get easier. Emotion and feelings don’t prevent us from practicing the word. If it does, then you’re allowing your flesh to rule, and you’re continuing to feed your flesh more than your spirit man. By this time, your bubbling isn’t as intense, so by continuing to read you’re chastising your flesh and desire the goodness of the Father, for the Father first and then for your marriage.
Best part of this shift to rise up, is that you’re building your trust in the Father, developing a proper relationship with Him. That’s right, the entire process is about strengthening your relationship with the Father which trickles to every area of your life. Seek the Father first in ALL things. Quit popping off at whatever comes to your lips first. And don’t even justify it as righteousness especially when you’re out of order in even speaking it. Whew. Plain and simple. Do not speak without the Father filtering it. That means, if you’re excited, you’re angry, you’re indignant, you’re overjoyed, etc., you filter it through the Father first. Yes, good stuff too. In fact, it is developing your relationship in what to share, with whom, at the time specified. Yep, there will be times you will have to hold what the Father has shown you for a time. Imagine seeing something and not being able to release it to the people for 20 years. It is important to be obedient to the Father.
I will stop here for now and as the Father leads continue such relationship helps. Read the scriptures below to help confirm and further study.
“And Ahab made a grove; and Ahab did more to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel that were before him” I Kings 16:33.
“Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord [is]” Ephesians 5:17.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 5:22-25.
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” Ephesians 5:28-29.
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband” Ephesians 5:31-33.
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord [are] over the righteous, and his ears [are open] unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord [is] against them that do evil” I Peter 3:7-12.
“[This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told [you] in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another” Galatians 5:16-26.
“He must increase, but I [must] decrease” John 3:30.
“Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though [they be] so great, and [are] driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be” James 3:3-10.
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” Mark 11:25-26.
“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” Matthew 18:35.
“But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” Matthew 5:22-24.
“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” Luke 6:45.
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” Matthew 6:33.