Low blows are a no go. It is our flesh that seeks retribution. If loving our spouse reveals our flesh over our spirit, then we know what we need to do. Crucify our flesh so that the spirit leads and our heart to love despite how we feel. When we are one, we hurt ourselves when we hurt our spouse. To seek for some form of payback is simply our immaturity being manifested. Further, it reveals how our feelings, our pain, and our hurt, are valued above our spouse when we act out in vengeance. This whole getting even thing, is never even, it is always destructive. We will also see our rebellion in these moments, when we know what we are supposed to do, but decide to rebel against that to seek revenge. It’s unfortunate the selfishness, the inability to realize in these moments we choose sin, our salvation, simply because we are angry and hurt.
Yes, we will get angry, even the Bible says, to sin not. We will get in disagreements, yes, moments of growth…if you choose to calm down and come to a place to speak, even when it is uncomfortable, even when it hurts to admit the mistakes, or to acknowledge dysfunction. This would be maturity and growth here. This would be choosing humility over pride. This would be where fighting fair exists. This would be where the spirit man steps up vs. the flesh. So, the real question here is, what is truly ruling in this case?
“And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh” Mark 10:8
“For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king” I Samuel 15:23.
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” Ephesians 4:26.
“[When] pride cometh, then cometh shame: but the lowly [is] wisdom” Proverbs 11:2.
“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised [is] wisdom” Proverbs 13:10.
“Pride [goeth] before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall” Proverbs 16:18.
“For all that [is] in the world, the list of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but us of the world” I John 2:16.
“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” James 4:6.
“Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” I Peter 3:9.
Contentious is a point advanced or maintained in a debate or argument; anger, strife.
“As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife” Proverbs 26:21.
“[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house….[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” Proverbs 21:9&19.